Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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