idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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