I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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