so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
