do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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