My girlfriend figured out who you are.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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