Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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