Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
