I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and she was petting her beer can
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize