I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
