you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
