that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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