Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
where are you?
Hypothermia
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
