clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
