I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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