Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
