I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
