I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
