What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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