i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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