i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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