"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
