can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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