We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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