how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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