Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
