At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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