All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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