She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
