then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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