You're so nebulous sometimes
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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