I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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