I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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