This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
