he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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