you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
