id be glad to
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
