Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
