nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
