I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
