The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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