If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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