Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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