U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
