i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
