I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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