if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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