Don't you send me to vm
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
