One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
