if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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