ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
