Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
