if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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