Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
