oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize