dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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