apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
