dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
