Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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