I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
