Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
