Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
