great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
